PHP is Dead

A living memorial to a dying language

Days since declared dead: 5,024
Meanwhile, 77% of the web still runs PHP... • PHP stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor' which stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor: Hypertext Preprocessor'... • WordPress alone powers 43% of the internet. Yes, that's PHP. • PHP was originally called 'Personal Home Page Tools.' Peak 1995. • In PHP, 'T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM' is the error for '::'. It's Hebrew. Because why not. • PHP has both array_key_exists() and in_array(), and they take arguments in opposite orders. • The PHP elephant mascot is called 'elePHPant.' They were proud of that. • MySQL_real_escape_string exists because mysql_escape_string wasn't escaping things... for real.

About This Memorial

PHP is Dead is an automated collection of the internet's finest PHP roasts, memes, and comment threads.

Every few hours, our collectors scour Reddit, Hacker News, Imgur, and the Fediverse for fresh PHP-related humor. The best content surfaces here for your entertainment and catharsis.

We currently have 30 approved posts in our graveyard.

FAQ

Is PHP actually dead?

No. PHP powers ~77% of the web. WordPress alone is ~43% of all websites. PHP is the cockroach of programming languages — it will outlive us all. That's what makes the memes so good.

Isn't this mean?

We roast what we love. Or at least what we're forced to use at work. Many PHP developers are the best source of PHP memes.

Can I submit a meme?

User submissions are coming soon. For now, post it on Reddit and our collector will find it.

Is this site built with PHP?

Absolutely not. It's built with Astro, because irony is our primary programming language.

All content is sourced from public posts and attributed to original creators. If you'd like something removed, please open an issue on our GitHub.