PHP is Dead

A living memorial to a dying language

Days since declared dead: 5,024

Meanwhile, 77% of the web still runs PHP... • PHP stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor' which stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor: Hypertext Preprocessor'... • WordPress alone powers 43% of the internet. Yes, that's PHP. • PHP was originally called 'Personal Home Page Tools.' Peak 1995. • In PHP, 'T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM' is the error for '::'. It's Hebrew. Because why not. • PHP has both array_key_exists() and in_array(), and they take arguments in opposite orders. • The PHP elephant mascot is called 'elePHPant.' They were proud of that. • MySQL_real_escape_string exists because mysql_escape_string wasn't escaping things... for real.

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Explaining PHP to a new developer

M

mentor_dev +4200

PHP is like a kitchen where every drawer has knives, but they're all slightly different sizes and some are actually spoons labeled as knives.

N

new_dev_2024 +890

Why does sorting an array modify it in place but array_map returns a new one? Isn't that inconsistent?

M

mentor_dev +3100

Welcome to PHP, where consistency is treated as a suggestion rather than a principle.

L

laravel_fan +6700

Just use Laravel and pretend the underlying language doesn't exist. That's what we all do.

15,800 pts Source: manual

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