PHP is Dead

A living memorial to a dying language

Days since declared dead: 5,024
Meanwhile, 77% of the web still runs PHP... • PHP stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor' which stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor: Hypertext Preprocessor'... • WordPress alone powers 43% of the internet. Yes, that's PHP. • PHP was originally called 'Personal Home Page Tools.' Peak 1995. • In PHP, 'T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM' is the error for '::'. It's Hebrew. Because why not. • PHP has both array_key_exists() and in_array(), and they take arguments in opposite orders. • The PHP elephant mascot is called 'elePHPant.' They were proud of that. • MySQL_real_escape_string exists because mysql_escape_string wasn't escaping things... for real.
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PHP's greatest feature is that it makes you appreciate other languages

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polyglot_dev +1500

After 5 years of PHP, I switched to Python. The first time I saw consistent function naming I genuinely teared up.

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rust_evangelist +890

Try Rust. After PHP, the compiler yelling at you actually feels like love.

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php_veteran +2400

I've been writing PHP since PHP 4. Every year someone says it's dead. Every year I'm still employed. The real joke is on the haters paying more rent than me.

9,200 pts Source: manual
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