PHP is Dead

A living memorial to a dying language

Days since declared dead: 5,024
Meanwhile, 77% of the web still runs PHP... • PHP stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor' which stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor: Hypertext Preprocessor'... • WordPress alone powers 43% of the internet. Yes, that's PHP. • PHP was originally called 'Personal Home Page Tools.' Peak 1995. • In PHP, 'T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM' is the error for '::'. It's Hebrew. Because why not. • PHP has both array_key_exists() and in_array(), and they take arguments in opposite orders. • The PHP elephant mascot is called 'elePHPant.' They were proud of that. • MySQL_real_escape_string exists because mysql_escape_string wasn't escaping things... for real.
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The PHP version of 'it works on my machine'

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devops_pain +3400

In PHP, 'it works on my machine' has a special variant: 'it works on this specific PHP version with these specific extensions compiled with these specific flags on this specific OS.'

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sysadmin_tears +4200

I once spent a week debugging why code worked in development but not production. Turns out the production server had a different locale setting which changed how string comparison worked. IN PHP.

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docker_fan +1800

This is literally why Docker was invented.

11,700 pts Source: manual
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