PHP is Dead

A living memorial to a dying language

Days since declared dead: 5,024

Meanwhile, 77% of the web still runs PHP... • PHP stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor' which stands for 'PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor: Hypertext Preprocessor'... • WordPress alone powers 43% of the internet. Yes, that's PHP. • PHP was originally called 'Personal Home Page Tools.' Peak 1995. • In PHP, 'T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM' is the error for '::'. It's Hebrew. Because why not. • PHP has both array_key_exists() and in_array(), and they take arguments in opposite orders. • The PHP elephant mascot is called 'elePHPant.' They were proud of that. • MySQL_real_escape_string exists because mysql_escape_string wasn't escaping things... for real.

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PHP date formatting is a war crime

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time_lord +2800

PHP date format: 'Y-m-d H:i:s'. Y for 4-digit year, m for month, d for day, H for 24h hour, i for minutes (???), s for seconds. Why is minutes 'i'? Because 'm' was taken by month. Galaxy brain.

J

js_dev_crying +1200

To be fair, JavaScript's Date object is also a mess. But at least we know it's a mess. PHP acts like this is normal.

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time_lord +3400

My favorite part is that 'D' gives you 'Mon', 'Tue', etc. but 'l' (lowercase L) gives you 'Monday', 'Tuesday'. The letter l. For the word that starts with the day name. Sure.

7,800 pts Source: manual

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